How to Win your Divorce

I’ve never had a happy couple get a divorce. Most folks have been in a lot of pain for years before they pull the plug on a dead relationship. My goal as your attorney is to get your case resolved as quickly and as fairly as possible.

It has been said that the only real question is a divorce is “How Much”. “How Much” child support am I going to have to pay? “How Much” visitation am I going to get? “How Much” of our assets am I going to keep? Keeping your expectations reasonable and focused on the “How Much” question is the first step in winning your divorce.

If you expect “Justice” rather than “How Much” you will be disappointed. No judge can give back the years you spent with an ex. The best you are going to get is a Final Decree of Divorce, division of assets and debts, and a parenting plan. Some of the worst judgements I’ve seen are when a Judge really tries to punish a party. Getting 95 percent of your spouse’s income in alimony and child support is simply going to make the spouse quit their job and move to Mexico. Fighting over personal property such as furniture is insane considering the value of used furniture vs. the amount your lawyer is going to charge you for fighting over it.

These are my tips for Winning Your Divorce.

  1. Remove as much emotion from the process as possible. After discussions with your attorney make a reasonable goal of what you would accept as a fair resolution. Most divorce lawyers know pretty well what is going to happen in Court. Listen to your lawyer. If the other party makes an offer close to what you think is fair, make it happen.
  2. Be organized. Get all your taxes, paystubs, investment account statements, credit card statements in an organized fashion to your attorney. So much time is wasted when the attorney is begging for documents which are necessary for settlement.
  3. Move on in life. Do not try to be the “cool” divorced person going out to lunch with their ex or having the ex over for dinner. You will confuse yourself, the kids and the other spouse. When its over, let it be over. Usually one spouse or the other wants to reconcile in some fashion; don’t remain hung up over a spouse who is over you; or give encouragement to a spouse who wants you back.
  4. Work out your issues. It is a good use of your time to get counseling to work out what happened in your marriage both to be able to deal with your ex as a parent but also to avoid the same mistakes in the future.
  5. Listen to your attorney. Most good divorce attorneys have a lot of experience and will provide good advice. Listen.

It is never hard for me to try a case when the other side has made offers which are below what I know a Court will do. It is much harder to try a case when the other side has made reasonable offers which may even be more that what I think the Court will do. Don’t gamble with unreasonable expectations; if you can resolve your divorce without a trial do so.